Your gross new diet / pet plan
Cut backs are due loser. You see, my expensive nutritional plans aren't going to pay for themselves! I like to look after my body, never putting any cheap rubbish inside me and I've found an even better supplier than before, but they're even more expensive. So I'm cutting your food to pay for mine. Don't look so scared, of course ill still feed you, look you have chicken right here in this can! Cheap, gross, only 4% chicken and may produce side effects, but that doesn't matter. My health and perfect body does. And these Organic, hormone free, nutritious groceries of mine certainly do also. Maybe ill turn you into my actual pet, walk you on a leash?! I going to humiliate you as you eat your first pet meal! Don't worry you'll still be able to eat your lunch with your work colleagues, just out of the tin. Stop crying.
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