Loser Hand Humper
I want you to hump your hand for me, loser!! Fuck your fist, because it's the only sex you're going to get. Who would ever want to fuck a loser like you? You're so sad and pathetic, you could never get real pussy. That's why you spend all your time alone in your room just like this! Keep humping while I remind you about how much of a depressing freak you are and show off my hot body (that you would never EVER have a chance to touch). At the end when I know you're totally desperate, I give you a countdown so you can cum into your hand.
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