Straight Men Do The Gayest Things
No man is as straight as he pretends to be. Many struggle with trying to prove their heterosexuality, fearful that they will do or say something that will be interpreted as "gay." But if you're really straight, you shouldn't be worried if people think you're gay. It just sounds like you're not as secure in your straightness as you want people to believe you are and I know exactly why.
It is your problem but it's not all your fault. You've spent your whole life being conditioned and mesmerized into homosexuality. The spaces you once believed were safe for you to fully express your masculinity have actually been cesspools of gay indoctrination. The programming is too deep for you to ever truly be a straight male. You will forever stay a mindfucked homo that believes he is straight, but I will reveal the secrets of how you've been tricked into craving the attention, company, and approval of other men.
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