
Expert Advice for Stroke-a-holics
I'm so glad you took the time to see Me today! I've reviewed your case file and your situation is quite dire. Yes, you're a compulsive masturbator--a loser, who spends all his time and money online just for the chance to jerk off to hot girls that will never give you the time of day. At this point, I find you a menace to society and there's really only one solution. Have you heard of castration? You have and you don't like the idea? Too bad... I have the power to court order your castration--like I said you're a menace to yourself and to society. Now let me explain how this will all work... And trust Me, I'm an expert.
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