Happy Birthday, Virgin!
Here you are, my virgin birthday boy! Another year of being a sexless, pussyfree virgin! You must be pretty used to it at this point right? Well if you're not yet, you should be! Because you are staying a virgin, of course! Nobody will ever want to fuck you. So enjoy another year of never having steamy amazing orgasming hot sweaty sex... The closest thing to sex you'll ever get is having hot women online make fun of your pussyfree life, and you have to pay us for even that! Hilarious. I got something special for you too! Happy birthday, virgin!
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