Valentine's Date
Hey loser, are you going to be alone this valentines day? You don't have a girlfriend and no date to take out to dinner. It's just going to be you, all alone, with your hand and your porn collection. Sounds like a normal night in for you, doesn't it? While most attractive people go out for this special day, you stay in and cry about your inability to find someone that's even willing to look at you. How about you make things sound less lonely for yourself and call your hand your girlfriend instead. I mean, most women find you repulsive and your hand is the most action you'll ever get anyway. Your hand can be your new valentine's date and you're guaranteed to fuck it. Hahaha how much more pathetic can someone get?
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