Forget her, I'm your Valentine
It's Valentine's Day! Are you planning a nice meal? Gifts? Then sex? I think not. That's not going to work for Me. You're not having a nice meal in a nice place, you can order pizza instead. No flowers, chocolates or gifts either, tell her you're broke. Sex? Oh, we'll see about that. I'm going to ruin that for you too. She'll hate you by the time this day is over!
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