Single on Valentine's Day
Spoiler alert! Your plans for February 14th have just changed, dork. I realize you were likely planning on faking your way through an evening with your wife or girlfriend. You'll have to suffer through her boring dinner conversation and lie through your teeth when you tell her how "beautiful" she looks. Not this time.
This Valentine's Day you're going to give her the gift that keeps on giving. Well, for you anyway. You're going to dump her ass. Just think- now that she's gone you'll be able to worship Me and jerk off to My humiliation as much as you'd like. No, you'll never be with Me, but you can pretend, right?
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