
You Owe Women
Shut up and listen to me in my slinky black dress. I'm going to give you a lecture on women -- why we rule, and why you, MEN, suck. We birth you, bathe you, raise you, balance out your idiotic misogynistic tendencies. I talk about how funding my life with generous cash injections and gifts is your way of making up for all the you put us through. But this isn't just about me: it's about your long-suffering wife, your step-mom, and your step-sister. You'll be sending them flowers, cards, and gifts, on top of me. We're a sisterhood, united by gender against you dummies who think with the wrong kind of head.
