Happy Thanksfigging!
Get a large hand of ginger root and get ready to carve it down to size. You need to show me how obedient you'll be, no matter how painful the task, so get ready to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. I'll guide you through as you suffer and endure this task, teasing you with my shiny pants and pushing you with my demanding words. It only seems appropriate today to show me how thankful you are to worship by suffering. Be a good and let's see just how much you'll endure for me.
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