No more birthdays for Losers
By request. Happy birth...oh wait. Why would a loser even celebrate their birthday? No, from now on your birthday is cancelled. This year and every year in the future. Why would anybody celebrate the day a total reject and freak was born anyway? Instead, this special date will be converted into the annual Goddess Canna Day. The reasons are obvious: Since your life revolves around nothing but me, it's natural to celebrate me rather than you on your insignificant birthday. The day I first got into contact with you marks the end of your former worthless existence. I mean, you're worthless still, but now you serve a noble cause - ME. Without me as your savior, you would still be lost. Without me having given a meaning to your life, you probably would've offed yourself already. So what's the only natural conclusion? That you show me how grateful you are by taking all the money and gifts that some foolish people give you for your loser birthday, and immediately hand them over to me! Happy Goddess Canna Day!
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