Loser date with Handy
Nobody has been there for you the way your hand has. No girl has ever wanted to touch your cock, so as a result of all that rejection, you've become the humiliation porn addict you are today. Since you'll never get a girlfriend and will always be a hopeless hand fucker, you will treat your hand as your girlfriend. That's right dork, get everything ready. I'll tell you exactly what to do step by step. You will need lipstick/lipgloss or a sharpie, candles or at least the ability to dim your lights, and most importantly your one and only gf Handy. Prepare to feel like a loser idiot for actually doing this.
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