I’ve finally found the perfect spot for you. Look how incredibly tiny you look, sealed inside this little glass bottle on my desk. I’m holding your entire world in the palm of my hand, tilting the glass, and laughing at how utterly helpless you are in your new prison. You're just a novelty toy to me now something cute to look at when I'm bored between answering emails. Watch me peer down at you through the glass, completely amused by your tiny, silent panic. You belong to my collection now.

Wrapped in sheer black fishnets and heavy chains, I’m looking down at you and letting my long tongue do all the talking. Watch the wet, teasing close-ups, listen to my mocking laughter, and accept that this is the closest you will ever get to a girl like me. You look so pathetic staring up at me from the bottom of my screen.

Get comfortable, drop your head back, and look up. I’m giving you an uncomfortably close look at exactly what you’re missing. Watch the light catch every drop of saliva as I stretch my tongue, showing off my uvula while letting wet, dripping sounds play right in your ears. I can’t help but laugh at how easily this addictive little display completely freezes your brain. You’re totally transfixed by my mouth, aren't you? Good. Stay right there and lose yourself in the detail.

Post-workout, shoes off - and out falls my little slave, stuck to the insole. A whole year and he still can't clean my feet properly. Disappointing, honestly.

The rules are simple: earn Good Boy status with me and all my friends, and maybe — maybe — he gets to go home. He knows this. So why is he still underperforming?

I tuck him into my sock while I shower so he can think about it.

Later I'm answering emails, eating yoghurt, when I catch him sneaking out and just staring at my mouth. At my tongue specifically. I put my hand out and he climbs on, and immediately starts kissing my palm. Cute attempt at points, but then he confesses: he has an oral fixation. He can't stop thinking about my tongue.

I find this adorable and slightly pathetic, which is honestly my favorite combination. I lean in close, stick my tongue out slowly, and watch him tremble. He actually starts crying. Over my tongue. I laugh: mouth wide open, which somehow makes it worse for him.

I record him a little video of my tongue doing tricks. A souvenir. Then I dangle him over my open mouth, lower him down slowly, pull back just before. Over and over until he's begging me to lick him. Once he begs properly, really properly, I give him one long, slow lick.

He wants another one. Of course he does. This time I make him beg faster. Then I make him an offer: one more lick, full tongue, his whole body. But if I lick him again, I eat him alive.

So. Do we have a deal?

I just got home from a long day. Shoes off, feet up, eyes glued to my phone, completely zoned out. That's when I noticed them. Two tiny men on my table, staring up at me.

Turns out they're friends of my ex. You know, the one I dumped a month ago and nobody's heard from since. Funny story about that, actually.

These guys apparently got suspicious and broke into my place while I was at work. Bold move. What they didn't count on was my Home Security system: whenever someone breaks in, a gas releases through the vents and shrinks everyone inside. I activate it from an app when I leave. It's how I found out my ex was cheating on me in the first place: came home one day to find him tiny on my bed, right next to his equally tiny mistress. He'd broken into my apartment to cheat on me. In my own bed. The audacity.

So his friends want to know what happened to him? I'm happy to show them firsthand. They're about to have the exact same experience. And since I've been missing having some helpless little souls to play with, they're joining me for breakfast. No one will be looking for them either.

I've noticed you staring at my tongue. You like what you see? I bet you've never seen a bigger one before. Come closer. Let me give you a better look. Let my spit drip all over you. You're welcome.