Stay Home Jerk Off Repeat
Did you really believe you had plans this weekend? At least be honest with yourself; you didn't have any plan other than staying home and jerking off to porn. Especially MY porn.
Here's what you'll really be doing this weekend, next weekend, and every weekend after that: Stay home. Jerk off. Do it again.
It's not like you have anything else going for you, do you? Day in and day out you stroke your dick to oblivion, rest, wake up and do it again. This is your life. You like it this way. I like it this way. It's easy and it's fun.
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