Your dick is a useless baby carrot.
Wanna watch me fuck myself with this? Hahaha, fucking myself with a baby carrot. How absurd — it’d be as absurd as fucking your micropenis. There’s a reason why people don’t make dildos the size of your dick, or fuck baby carrots. It’s because it doesn’t feel good. Why would I do something that doesn’t feel good when I don’t have to?
It’s impossible for you to pleasure a woman. Utterly impossible. Save yourself from the misery of hope — hoping that one day you could, that one day someone won’t disregard your cock as absolutely useless. You’re a waste of time. You’re undesirable. A night in bed with you would be the biggest waste of time in a woman’s life.
Look at this carrot. The chances of me being pleasured by this thing is as slim as your dick pleasuring a woman. Zero. Zilch. There’s absolutely no way. You know, maybe you WOULD love to watch me fuck myself with this carrot, rather than a real dildo. It’d be more fun — easier to imagine that it’s your dick fucking me, perhaps. Too bad I won’t.
So you’re stuck here, watching me berate you for the mistake between your legs, listening to me compare your dick to a baby carrot. You’re addicted to small penis humiliation porn because you want to get off to your rather sad situation, hm? You’ve surrendered to the fact that your dick is absolutely useless. How sad.
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