New Year Resolutions For Losers
You can't ignore the fact that you're alone for the holidays again.. Yet another year going by where you don't have a date, or girlfriend or any hope of a new year's kiss. Don't fight it. Resolve to being exactly who you are. Resolve to be a better beta bitch. Resolve to serve me and sacrifice more to make me happy. You'll always be a loser, but at least if you stick to these commitments you'll have purpose in life. That purpose is to serve me and be grateful for the honor.
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