

Falsely Advertised PONYBOY
I ordered a PONY SLAVE for the summer concert I planned on attending! I planned on having the STRONG PONY SLAVE carry me all day in the hot sun, But there is one problem! The ad was a FALSE ADVERTISEMENT! The slave is nothing like he looked in the ad! Pacing back and forth across the room, COMPLAINING TO CUSTOMER SERVICE and asking for the manager of the pony slave rental! I FLOP DOWN on the skinny weak pony's back and vent about how he WILL NEVER be able to carry me all day! I wanted a STRONG SLAVE like the ad showed! The weak slave under me can BARELY CARRY MY WEIGHT as I sit and complain!
I realize that I'm not getting a better pony, OR A REFUND! So I'll have to make do with what I have, which means LOTS OF TRAINING before the concert! Pulling the slave over to a bench and MOUNTING HIS BACK! The slave only weighs 115 pounds, while I'm 160 pounds! Sitting on his weak back, I DEMANDS HE STAND! The poor slave can barely get me off the ground! Once he gets me up, I make the slave do PONY PUSH UPS making him go UP AND DOWN with MY FULL WEIGHT on his back! After 10 of them the pony collapses! But I decides 20 MORE ARE IN ORDER! The slaves legs and arms tremble and shake as I laugh and BOUNCE! I really don't care one bit how much pain the little pony is under!
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