40 Year Old Virgin
This is what all 40-year-old virgins deserve. You're going to buy this and it's funny because you'll feel some strange connection to this guy [custom, name use: Tom] since your stories are so painfully similar. So not are you a pathetic, sexless virgin, but you're not even unique in your suffering. You can all cry and eat your cum together. I want you to be fully aware of that.. when you blow your load and eat it as instructed, just imagine there's at least a handful of your beta brotherhood out there doing the same thing. Really FEEL the humiliation of that. Feel it so I can laugh harder.
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