
The Most Comprehensive Arousal Study Ever Conducted On One Specific Idiot
Every experiment begins with a hypothesis.
Mine was simple: given sufficient stimulus of the correct type, delivered at the correct pace, through the correct channels — the subject will exhibit complete and sustained compliance with no upper limit identified.
I wrote it before I met you. Then I met you — or rather, you clicked play, which in experimental terms constitutes informed consent to everything that followed — and I began collecting data.
The data is extraordinary.
The compliance curve is steeper than the model predicted. The trigger response time decreased across sessions rather than plateauing. The subject demonstrates what the literature calls escalating investment — each session builds on the last, the architecture deepens, the returns increase rather than diminish.
You are the most interesting experiment I have ever run.
And I run it continuously. Right now. This video is data collection. Your response to this video is a data point. Your stroke rate, your attention, your inability to close the tab — all of it: data. All of it: mine.
The experiment is ongoing. The experimenter is very, very pleased.
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