No One Licks your Lollipop - WMV
*NOTE: M4V files are MP4 files! They register the same on all of your devices.*
So, you brought me here, turned up the heat in your apartment so I would get down to my lingerie, and you want to ask me out. You think I'm going to pursue this little thing you hope will happen. Ummm..... I've seen your dick. I've seen it, and I'd like to not see it ever again. Seriously. This lollipop is way more satisfying than you'll ever be, because nobody wants to lick your lollipop. You were hoping that this would be the time, that I would be nice, that I would pity you and throw you a bone. Such wishful thinking for a guy who's doomed to loneliness. I need you to stop this magical delusion you have that you're ever going to give a woman satisfying sex, because it's really damaging your brain and insulting the women you approach. Really, though. I'm fucking insulted that you think I'd stoop that low. So I want you to say it outloud: What do you have? A small dick. Say it. Say it loudly, so it really sinks in: you've never had a big dick, you don't have a big dick, and you'll never have a big dick. It's hopeless. There's no redemption for something you were born with and will alone with. Alone. All of your dates end in a polite denial or a bitchy laugh, huh? Listen, I'm doing you a favor by telling you the truth. I'm not going to be sweet and try not to hurt your feelings. No, I'm going to give it to you straight: you have a tiny penis, and I want nothing to do with it. Nobody does. Repeat it again, in front of my beautiful body: you have a small penis. Even while I tease you and rub it in how little I'd ever desire you, you can't get hard enough to reach the proper length. It will never happen, and there's nothing you can do to fix it! It kind of makes it much more fun to taunt you with my ass, legs, breasts, lips, and seductive voice. I like to watch you squirm, blush, and put your head down in shame. You should feel ashamed, as it's only right. It looks like you're going to have to live in shame and rejection, buddy, because you haven't been "friend zoned." You just have a little dick.
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