
CONE-IDIOT
Pinecones have long been used to gain insight into the weather and the natural world. In the case of the dimwit in this clip—whose IQ is about as low as a barometric pressure reading—you don’t even need such aids to figure things out. Because this pathetic excuse for a human being won’t answer his phone, I have to walk an incredibly long distance just to meet him—and then I’m made to wait for him, too. As punishment, he gets a few hard slaps across his empty-headed mug before I decide to blow off some steam by playing a little game. I start pelting the clueless, oblivious idiot with pinecones I’ve gathered from the ground. I can only hope that when these cones strike his brainless body, they might transfer a bit of their "foresight"—so that, next time, he’ll have a better idea of what I expect from him!
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