I Step On It, You Eat It
Really nothing more than a full-figured Woman in very sexy shoes stepping on things and a very lucky inferior male licking up the flattened aftermath in between steps. With the last load of construction materials for my attic play space and patio repair/upgrade tarped and smack dab in the middle of my driveway (another source of inferior male-induced aggravation) I brought My carpet out for some fresh air and to share the last of my deli sandwich with. Yes, I am a mean cougar bitch at times and this was one of those times. Not only is the carpet required to kneel, bare and exposed on the cement in the middle of my driveway directly on a swarming hoard of ants that have set up camp under the tarp next to him, he barely eats any of the dry, meatless sandwich I bread I so very kindly offer. I go beyond just offering, I flatten it for him in nice, bite size increments that he should have been able to gobble up before the ants began to carry it away. I lead him right to it with a tap of my toe, I even push his face down to the cement a few times with my foot (which he was quite wary of and very jumpy about which was understandable considering being curb stomped was a topic of chat earlier today) to help him find his generously granted portion. I should also add I whip him just out of frame with a wooden dowel too and you can tell by his movement and the stinging sound of the smack, but I even go as far as to let him lick My toes and orally remove the bread that has been stuck to the bottom of my shoe despite standing in the growing swarm myself and I don’t even drop his very generously granted food in the cigarette ash smear from the smoke I just put out. Insanely thoughtful of me, and after encouraging him to work harder I noticed My Asian Lady neighbor looking out her window, so naturally I had to allow My carpet a few more seconds licking My glorious feet and shoes for Her enjoyment. No I didn’t leave my carpet there- I did come back and lead him in after wiping the ants off my feet in the grass and brushing the ants off him.
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