Apologise for being a loser
You have a lot of apologising to do! I have a whole list to reel off here, effortlessly. You'll feel sad, you'll feel even worse, you'll pay for your inconveniences! You deserve all the verbal humiliation you're about to receive, and do receive! You have so much to apologise for you'll be doing it your whole helpless existence! Cry, weep, scream in to your pillow for all I care. Make sure you're not a blabbering idiot when apologising to me though! Punishable offence.
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