Humiliating Zoom Call
I’m on Zoom call with a co-worker, annoyed that we were called in on a Saturday to cover for a lazy, incompetent slob named Alex. This call wasn’t really work-related though. I had to spill the tea… When he asked me to cover for him, I wanted to know why. He told me he was in the ER and I didn’t believe him. So, I called the hospital pretending to be his wife (lol, like he’d ever get laid, let alone get married) and the nurse told me what happened. Earlier that day he was attacked by a pet and suffered severe wounds to his genitals. He was on his way into the operating room to have his penis and left testicle removed! We spend our call laughing about it and mocking him. We speculate that he’s probably a virgin and now he will be for life! Who cares though? He’s repulsive. He looks like he never showers, he totally looks like he’s jacking off in his sweatpants in group meetings. What a jackass. I wonder, should we tell everyone at the office?
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