You're a Mediocre Hipster with a Micro-Penis
You keep asking why I won't go out with you again, and I'm going to break it down for you. The first time I saw you, I thought you were cute in a hipster/trendy kind of way. But I should have realized someone who bikes everywhere and wears pants that are that fucking tight would have a teeny dicklet. It's so little! It's like a tic-tac. You try so hard to be cool, but you're a pathetic loser with a tiny lil dick, and everyone, including me points and laughs at you. You deserve all of the you get LOSER!!!
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