My ass ruined your marriage
you come to worship me as you do every day, and are very shocked when I say that I heard you are getting divorced. No, I didn't use my arcane skills and access to court information to find this, I barely think of you. I received a summons in the mail from that silly wife of yours. She is claiming my ass is theonly reason for the breakdown of your marriage. She continues that she can't fulfill her marital duties because you have worshiped my ass and now she will always beinadequate. Unable to compete, she wishes to concede. But there's more. I will be at your divorce hearing, my ass as evidence. I show you the micro sling thatI am going to wear so that the courts fully understand why it is you've utterly disregarded your wife and family. My ass may ruin other marriages in the process.The power my 41 inch heart shaped divinity has over you makes you forsake all else. At the snap of my fingers you'd throw everything away just to stroke to my clips.Now my ass is your wifey, and nothing else matters.
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