Two Pump Chump
You're a premature ejaculator, which by default makes you a total loser. It doesn't matter that you're relatively good looking, smart, funny, etc.... if you can't fuck a woman properly, you're a L-O-S-E-R. You need to swear off dating and just stick to jerking. It's not like it's going to take much time out of your day! Two pumps and suddenly, you're the chump with cum all over his hand! Such a turn off. Such a LOSER! You deserve every minute of this degradation.
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