Wedgie Ambassador
You walked into my corner office thinking this was a real job interview. Suit too big, sweat pooling on your upper lip, that same pathetic stench of desperation from school. I barely glanced at your resume before I recognized you; the same sniveling loser I used to corner in the locker room and hoist by his tighty-whities until he cried. And now? Now you’re sitting across from me in a thousand-dollar chair, still shaking, still worthless. I own this company, and I own your ass.
I stand up, slowly unbuttoning my blazer, and let the truth slice into you: I’m your old bully, and you’re still the same trauma-brained bitch I tormented years ago. The trauma of being a loser never fades, does it? It followed you like a stink into adulthood. You thought you escaped? You’re still the wedgied, whimpering failure with fabric buried in his asscrack, and today I’m hiring you for a very special position: my Wedgie Ambassador. I march around the desk, grab you by the collar, and hurl you against the glass. My manicured fingers dig into the back of your cheap trousers and I rip them up so hard the seam splits your hairy asscrack and mashes your useless balls against your stomach. I floss your raw asshole with your own underwear while I scream in your ear about how you’ll never be a real man. You’re grunting like a pig, your face pressed against my mahogany desk, and I can smell your pre-cum leaking, you’re still hard for your bully, you broken little reject.
This is your job now: coming to my office every morning so I can give you my daily reps, pulling and snapping your waistband while I take meetings, using your cracked whimpers as background noise to my empire. I’m going to brand your ass with permanent underwear marks and make you sign your paychecks over to me while you choke on the cotton shredding your taint. You wanted employment? You got enslavement. Your school nightmare is your adult reality, and I’m the CEO of both.
Welcome to your new role, ambassador.
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