00222 # my gray skin loves smoke
I started smoking thirty years ago. Today, my skin is turning as gray as the ash from my cigarettes. I’m happy about that. I’m becoming like them, little by little. I see the color of the filter on my full lips. And I see the gray of the ash on my skin. I smile; I like what I see; I feel beautiful. In fact, gorgeous! I’ve always wanted these colors—with a fierce and unyielding passion. Today I’m a heavy smoker, but I was determined from the very beginning to become this way. Look at my teeth—they’re the amber color of nicotine; they’re beautifully weathered. Imagine how many cigarettes I’ve smoked in my life. I look at myself and reflect on this as I brush my hair. I smoked a lot today, too. I smile as I moisturize my face. I feel good. My body loves smoke; my grey skin and my hair love smoking with me. My beauty transforms with smoke, and I become more and more intriguing, cigarette after cigarette, pack after pack, more and more captivating, year after year. I take care of myself while smoking yet another cigarette, firmly clamped between my lips. I rub cream on my face and breathe in plenty of secondhand smoke. How I love that sharp sting up my nose. I adore it! My nostrils burn, but I want more. I don’t take it off my lips. Listen to my smoking, to my breathing in smoke with the cigarette in my mouth. Feels the rhythm of my labored breaths. Every breath I take is smoke entering my body and giving color to my skin and lips. I smoke it all the way down to the filter; the ember falls—as it often does—but I want to feel in more, and more. I want to feel the smoke from the filter, too. I want all this yellow nectar inside me. My smoker’s scent is fragrant amber! I am a clean and gray colored pearl.
Film by Roxana Marlb Productions (length: 6'10" - aspect and pixel ratio: 9/16; 1080x1920)
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